These past two days have marked a new low for me in a personal level.
I made the mistake of not buying a car with air conditioning and the dry heat and awful traffic have made my life a living hell. It's my fault for not buying a car with ac.
The buddhist way is to reflect upon the poor situation as it occurs. Yet I cannot do this. Instead the anger builds up and I end up cursing or making turns where I shouldn't to avoid traffic. I only reflect at my actions long after, when I'm at home lying down and thinking about it. The way I act out when I'm upset is not good, and it saddens me that I can't be more balanced in the face of hardship.
I hate getting upset. I hate getting angry. It saddens me, like a huge tragedy.
But how am I suppose to feel or think?
The buddhist say, "As we deepen our spiritual awareness, our suffering, which is mere illusion caused by false views, will diminish and vanish altogether."
I'm not sure if I'm suppose to think that being "angry or upset" is the false view here. There is no illusion about the fact that heat causes people to get angry. It's been documented in case studies done in Phoenix Arizona.
If anything I need to take responsibility for buying such a car. Then I need to look at ways to avoid being stuck in traffic in the heat. Perhaps I can stick to the bus, which has ac, during peak traffic hours.
In one of those moments of reflection though, I came up with the idea that LIFE is all about CONDITIONING, RECONDITIONING, and DECONDITIONING. And it got me thinking how artificial that seems to make life. But I suppose the purpose is to find good conditioning.
